i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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