Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
