Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
That's how pantless uber rides happen
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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