i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
