Everything about him screamed your future.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
