I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
