dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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