I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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