Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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