Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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