My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
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