3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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