1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
