Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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