hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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