Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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