you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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