My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
