We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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