yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
