so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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