I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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