Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
