Someone shit on the floor
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize