i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
