She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
