So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
