wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
