you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
