If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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