Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
