But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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