didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
me + whiskey = a bad person
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
