there was a trapeze. enough said
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i came on her dog
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize