We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
