you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm both gender and math confused
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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