I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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