Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
