Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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