he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
How's work?
Spinning.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
