how can u be prego again
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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