I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
