new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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