i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
