I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
That was before I lit my hair on fire
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
