god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
