im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I have post one night stand depression
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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