did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
