please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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