I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
