I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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