Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
