he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
