I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
