no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
