have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
