and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
this is an emotional support booty call
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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