is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Randomize
