i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
two words...techno handjob
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
